A magical tidbit of I-don’t-know-what

Good afternoon, World 🙂

There are so many aspects of ourselves that we may never embody.

We can plant so many seeds, but we are watering cans, not thunderstorms.

Our energy must be rationed for those pursuits most likely to yield fruit. For me, this is not drawing. Or poetry. Or painting. Or writing music. Or dance.

But convenient or not, these activities are pieces of me, and when I remove one for two long, I feel as if I’m letting a part of myself dry up.

It’s like tying a tourniquet on a perfectly good limb. I need to put something on paper, or in movement, or into this word document, or else there’s just… I don’t know. Duty. Responsibility. Purpose. Which I love, but I need to unbind the other parts of myself.

My daily activities are driven by what will have the greatest future impact on my family. This means that mommy’ing takes first priority, followed by profit-oriented activities such as copywriting and editing. If there is time — and there is, if I’m willing to pursue it — I busy myself with book production, yoga and exercise, and lastly, creative exploration. This could be damn near anything.

I wish there was a way to become every aspect of our potential selves, rather than limiting ourselves to a singular interest. This morning, I woke up at 5am with a particularly frenetic urge to create something, so I wrote one thousand words on my work in progress, a short poem, and drew a picture before my daughter woke up.

There’s something wonderful about crafting a piece – literary or otherwise – as the sun turns the sky from black to blue. A magical tidbit of I-don’t-know-what. I am so completely thankful to have felt this spark today, to have been honored by it, and to feel the reassurance that my source of inspiration has not been squelched by the demands of running my own business and raising my baby.

Even if I am not an artist, and this part of my being will go unrecognized in a professional sense, I still like to have this fire for creating visual pieces. I want my hands to remember what it is like to carve shapes into paper. I want to keep my years of practice I earned in sketchbooks that are long gone, and whose existence only lives on when I grasp a utensil and lose myself in their form.

June is only about a week away. Amazing, right? The year is nearly half over. I am tempted to say “full,” but I won’t.

Let’s enjoy this beautiful peak of Spring. Flowers are everywhere, you don’t need a jacket, and as long as you’ve smeared yourself in some nice mineral-based sunscreen, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t embrace the outdoors and appreciate the beauty around us.

Embody whatever seemingly useless abilities you have laying around in your mental toolkit. They’re part of you, and even if they won’t result in a paycheck, they may give your soul the drink of water it needs to thrive.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, everybody!

xoxo Liv

art05222019

 

One reply to “A magical tidbit of I-don’t-know-what

  1. Thanks for posting, Liv. It’s always nice to hear from you. We all have talents we’ve acquired over the years, some we use and some we don’t. The reasons for that would be many, depending on the person and their situation. And peoples’ situations change, too. I’m sure you found when you got married it was a huge change for you. I know it was for me, when I married. And then your beautiful baby came along and things changed for you again. There are only so many hours in the day, Liv, and I know you’re all to aware of that! And just because you don’t use a talent doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll lose it. It’s still there in your mind, on the back burner so to speak. Then something happens to bring it to the forefront, just like what happened to you this morning! So yes, even though we don’t always like to admit it, life is all about priorities. It has to be, for different reasons.

    Thanks for posting your drawing. If you hadn’t, I was going to ask you to. I can tell there were many thoughts going through your mind as you drew it!

    Have a great evening, Liv.
    Bill

    Liked by 1 person

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