Good Afternoon, World 🙂
How’re you doing?
Saturday is a fantastic day. It’s even the rainiest day in the history of the world, if I remember an episode of QI correctly. A day even nature recognizes as a time to rinse off and start over. But that’s what every day should be: starting over.
I think about that sometimes. How many habits am I holding onto that I don’t need anymore? How many false beliefs do I hold? I wish there was a way to inventory one’s mind like a pile of shoes, and just throw out the bad ones, the pairs of thoughts with the holes in the feet, and maintain the good ones, the habits that pay off… The ways of thinking, being, and inquiring that don’t suck.
But, at least that’s an adventure.
Not knowing exactly how to be in this world is freshness. It’s letting out the stale air.
The promise of every disaster is the inverse promise of possible joy, love, and fulfillment.
How frightening, but also how kind.
If I believed in God, I would thank Them.
Every day is a time to stretch and feel the sun, even when it’s raining. It’s amazing to be able to feel, to have this window of consciousness from which to examine the universe from the inside. Hold onto what is meaningful; let go of what no longer serves you.
Sometimes I need to let things go, but I can’t.
It’s amazing, because as much as I can wax on about how glorious life is, there are times when I’m on the mat that I can’t clear my mind. I catch myself wandering off during my practice, flying above some canopy of chattering thought, worrying about how I’m going to get enough done before the baby wakes up. ADHD plays a hand in this, as does anxiety, drive, and lack of self-discipline, but also a need to cling to people and personal history that I needn’t hold onto any longer.
I don’t have to bear this weight. I don’t have to hang on.
I can let go.
As in writing, as in yoga, as in life, being present is best. Not just with the task at hand, but also of the workings of my own internal world. I’m hanging on in places that I shouldn’t, and not nurturing the people, situations, and opportunities that are likely to be the most meaningful. Enough, now. Focus.
Breath in, breathe out.
I need to nurture seeds in my own little plot of nature that will benefit my family, myself, and those who come after us. This means not encumbering myself with pettiness, because as I have learned, over and over, that potshots are wasted shots. There is no stone I could chuck at someone’s head that I would not rather use to build my own shelter. I cannot hold onto dead relationships anymore.
Time to let go, enjoy this Saturday, and give next week all the hell we’ve got.
Thanks for reading.
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